Tips For Healthy Living

Well, boys and girls, it's been a while since I've contributed my brilliance to the efforts of the Not Celebrity Not Fit Club. I've noticed that America is still fat, so I guess my country still needs me. So here are some tips for healthy living.

• Basketball is a fun and healthy exercise. Play.
• Practicing free throws, while valuable to your development as a player, is possibly the least effective means to improve your health playing basketball. Try doing some layups. Dunk the ball a few times--even if that means lowering the rim a little bit.
• When you are dunking the ball, or otherwise attacking the rim, it is vital that you keep in mind where the pole is. That's right, most basketball hoops are mounted to a pole of some sort. While your high-flying antics may be exhilarating, you will follow those antics with the devastating effects of gravity. At that point, you won't care about the ball, rim, or the authority with which you "threw it down." Instead, you'll care about the collision with the pole. It hurts.
• Another healthy exercise of which I am a fan, as any regular reader of this blog knows, is biking. Riding your bicycle is an excellent form of aerobic exercise. I recommend doing your biking during the day when the sun is still out. It works out a lot better that way.
• If you must ride your bicycle in the dark, the ditch is your friend (as opposed to traffic).
• If you must take the ditch, hope that nothing traumatic happens.
• When something traumatic happens, you'll be glad to be carrying your cell phone.
• Always carry your cell phone.

Remember, improve your health by carrying a cell phone at all times. Never mind the brain cancer stuff.