I Hate Running

As you may know, I hate running. Honestly, it just doesn't feel good. Never mind the fact that it is completely boring. It also turns out that running strengthens your heart and is an excellent way to lose weight--both of which are things I may want to consider.

Since tonight is election night and I don't want to hear a danged word about it, I was trying to think of something good to occupy my time. I came very close to settling on a movie marathon, but someone told me "don't be a Sara" and I knew I had to do something less pathetic. I'm still cheap, though, and I knew I didn't want to be out and about because a lot of people are going to be talking about that stupid election and I still don't want anything to do with that.

Put A (above) and B (also above) together, and what've you got? I decided to go for a little run today. Now, I'm famous for preparing poorly for a run. Today I felt like I should do this thing right.

Before any exercise, it's important to stretch properly. I'm generally not very patient, and stretching is a little too subdued for my tastes. Well, I figured that since running is all lower-body, I could probably stretch by just riding my bike for a while. That doesn't really make sense unless you really want it to, and I did, so that's what I did. Of course, it was already dark out before I even left work, so I rode the bike in the basement. And, if you're just gonna be in the basement, might as well put in a movie, right? So that's what I did. After an hour and forty minutes and a good movie, I felt fully stretched.

Another important thing to successful exercise is to make sure you have proper energy. I drank some Gatorade and ate some pie after the bike. Mmm, pie.

So, the run. I ran a mile on the treadmill. Woo. Running sucks as it is, but running on a treadmill is even worse. I'm running towards a white wall! I'm running towards a white wall! I'm running towards a white wall! I've been running towards that dumb white wall for a while now, and I still haven't run into it. What is this?

Sometimes I miss the good ol' days when exercising was something you did in gym class and the only other thing you did to raise your heart rate was to play tonsil hockey with your girlfriend's best friend during her band concert. Looking back, I feel like a B.B. King song. (You know, "The Thrill is Gone"?)